Family Notes (Notes #2, 2010)

I love that Micah sent me this photo. It tells more about real life than all the carefully posed, perfect snapshots we often present to the world. I wonder if the kids will remember that Mom was NOT asking them to watch a bunny get butchered? It was just that Ava was slipping from Anson’s arms and Paige was wondering whether she should grab her or sit still and smile as Mom asked?

Early in life we begin storing memories of personal history. Children begin to recount their life. Isobel, now four, begins conversations with: “When I was a little girl I used to.….” 

Recently she told her mom: “When I was a Fairy God-mother, I used to work soooo hard.”

Sember: “Doing what?” 

Isobel: (with a big weight-of-the-world sigh.) “It was soooo hard getting all the other fairies to collect teeth. I had to do sooooo much of it myself.”

She was also overheard saying to her
brother: “Kaiden, know what?” 

Kaiden: “What?”

Isobel: “I’m not shore…”  

Perhaps memory loss begins earlier than we’d thought.

The Great Aunt has been in a memory care place for six months. Interesting moniker: Memory Care. A few months ago she punched a male resident in the stomach because he was taunting another woman. He grabbed The Aunt’s arm (left a big bruise) before the staff could intervene. The police came and the man was taken away. We teased her about having a police record but she was adamant saying, “He was a bully and deserved to be hit.” Now she no longer remembers this incident. As we, particularly Marsena, walk this stage of life with her, we watch her memories fly away. We discuss the progress (is that a good word for this?) of Alzheimer’s. When the gates that guard behavior and words come down, some say it unmasks who you really are. If you were generally sweet and considerate of others, you will continue to be grace-filled in what you say and do even though it may not make sense. On the other hand if you were cynical and critical that will be revealed. Others say there’s no relationship. When the brain breaks down there’s no telling what it will do, and this doesn’t reflect the real person. Beneath her public persona, The Aunt was perhaps more the latter kind. Last time I saw her, she was nasty to me and I had to get a grip. She does this plenty to Marsena, but I hadn’t been the bad guy before. In a short while she forgot all about whatever made her angry and only remembered the wonderful time she had with me. We ask God to spare us certain personal destinies, but if not, please help us drink the cup with eyes steady on Jesus.